If I were enjoying my life 10% more than I am now, what would I be doing differently?
I would start each day expecting great things instead of being pessimistic.
I would smile and laugh more.
I would stop caring so much about what people think.
I would do less of the work that I don't enjoy and more work that I do enjoy.
I would be more assertive.
I would talk to my friends more.
I would spend more time with my family.
I would be more friendly.
I would get more sleep.
I would sing more.
I would be more present in the moment and less worried about the future.
I would take more time to enjoy the beauty of nature.
I would appreciate the weather more for what it is, not what I wish I were.
I would appreciate the fact that some people will like me and others won't.
I would appreciate everyone for who they are.
I would speak my mind more often.
I would face my fears more.
I would tell people about my apprehensions to make them aware.
I would take offers of help or ask for help more than I do.
There are so many other things I would do.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Happy Relationships Questionnaire
1. What would you say is the most powerful key to enjoying happy and loving relationships? I would say that the most powerful keys are respect for one another, open and honest communication, and happiness in your own personal life.
2. What do you think is the secret to unconditional love? The secret is loving and being happy with yourself, being yourself, and accepting everyone else for who they are.
Real Joy in Relationships:
1. Mom: I'm able to mostly be myself with her.
2. Dad: We can talk intelligently to one another.
3. Jackie: She accepts me for who I am and I can be myself around her.
4. Animals: They bring me peace and contentment.
5. Myself: I can be my own worst enemy, but I'm also the only one who can decide to do big and/or great things.
Relationship Strengths:
1. I listen to people/I'm a good sounding board for them to vent.
2. I try to help people as much as I can if they need it.
3. I'm intuitive at times and try to make people feel better if they aren't happy.
4. I can be fun to be with.
5. I can be funny.
My major relationship lesson at present is just learning how to be myself around everyone, being my best self, and enjoying life and other people.
2. What do you think is the secret to unconditional love? The secret is loving and being happy with yourself, being yourself, and accepting everyone else for who they are.
Real Joy in Relationships:
1. Mom: I'm able to mostly be myself with her.
2. Dad: We can talk intelligently to one another.
3. Jackie: She accepts me for who I am and I can be myself around her.
4. Animals: They bring me peace and contentment.
5. Myself: I can be my own worst enemy, but I'm also the only one who can decide to do big and/or great things.
Relationship Strengths:
1. I listen to people/I'm a good sounding board for them to vent.
2. I try to help people as much as I can if they need it.
3. I'm intuitive at times and try to make people feel better if they aren't happy.
4. I can be fun to be with.
5. I can be funny.
My major relationship lesson at present is just learning how to be myself around everyone, being my best self, and enjoying life and other people.
Family Gifts
What gifts have your family given you?
A lot of the things my family has taught me have come through difficult relationships and events. Both of my parents have taught me how to be a wonderful parent by lacking, themselves, good parenting skills. My mom has showed me why I should be strong and friendly, because she, herself, is not. She lives a somewhat reclusive life with no friends outside work, and she drinks by herself way too frequently. My dad showed me that it's not a good idea to get wrapped up in an addiction (he has a very addictive personality). It can make you lose all you have. He came very close and then he taught me to be courageous and strong by going to AA and cleaning up his act after years of submitting to alcohol. What are the positive things my parents have taught me through positive things they've done? I don't even know. I can't think of a single thing. I'll have to come back to this.
A lot of the things my family has taught me have come through difficult relationships and events. Both of my parents have taught me how to be a wonderful parent by lacking, themselves, good parenting skills. My mom has showed me why I should be strong and friendly, because she, herself, is not. She lives a somewhat reclusive life with no friends outside work, and she drinks by herself way too frequently. My dad showed me that it's not a good idea to get wrapped up in an addiction (he has a very addictive personality). It can make you lose all you have. He came very close and then he taught me to be courageous and strong by going to AA and cleaning up his act after years of submitting to alcohol. What are the positive things my parents have taught me through positive things they've done? I don't even know. I can't think of a single thing. I'll have to come back to this.
Family's Happiness Story
What is my family's story about happiness?
I wouldn't say I come from a happy family. Everyone seems to go about life in a daze, just putting one foot in front of the other to get to a destination called happiness. Their idea of happiness is something you can buy with money or that you earn after you work hard for 35 years. Happiness is not something in the forefront of my parents' minds...It's kind of an afterthought. They're just going through the motions. I would say that instead of happiness, financial security, material goods, and work are more important to them. My family's attitude is more pessimistic than optimistic. People are always being discouraged and told about what could go wrong if they try something new. The ways that my family express their joy are through playing games, laughing, talking, and watching TV, though these occasions are extremely rare. The roles played in my family are like this...My dad has always been the financial backbone, bad cop, and embarrassment (up until recently). My mom has always been meek, submissive, good cop, not a huge contributer to much of anything. My brother used to be the family entertainer/clown, but now he has faded away and lives in the background; he's been staying out of the family issues and even good times for several years now. I believe that I have always been quietly courageous; if I see things falling apart, I try to pick up the pieces. I sacrifice myself and my happiness in an attempt to assuage everyone else. I'm the caregiver, the martyr, the glue that holds the family together. Just recently I've started working on my own self instead of worrying so much about everyone else; I'm trying to allow myself to just be happy. My family's philosophy about happiness would probably be something like: Happiness is something you buy or earn, far out in the distant future, that you can acquire by working hard enough and sacrificing enough.
What is your mother's definition of happiness? She would define happiness as being content with how life is, as well as money and material goods. My mother is happiest when she gets out of work and knows she can sit and relax.
What is your father's definition of happiness? He would probably describe happiness as something you get after working hard, sacrificing, and making money. My father is happiest when he is talking about something he is passionate or knowledgeable about.
Who is the happiest member of your family, and what has this person taught you about happiness? I would have to say that the happiest members of my family are my two cats. They are happy because they are being themselves, doing what feels good to them at the time, and not caring what anyone thinks.
I wouldn't say I come from a happy family. Everyone seems to go about life in a daze, just putting one foot in front of the other to get to a destination called happiness. Their idea of happiness is something you can buy with money or that you earn after you work hard for 35 years. Happiness is not something in the forefront of my parents' minds...It's kind of an afterthought. They're just going through the motions. I would say that instead of happiness, financial security, material goods, and work are more important to them. My family's attitude is more pessimistic than optimistic. People are always being discouraged and told about what could go wrong if they try something new. The ways that my family express their joy are through playing games, laughing, talking, and watching TV, though these occasions are extremely rare. The roles played in my family are like this...My dad has always been the financial backbone, bad cop, and embarrassment (up until recently). My mom has always been meek, submissive, good cop, not a huge contributer to much of anything. My brother used to be the family entertainer/clown, but now he has faded away and lives in the background; he's been staying out of the family issues and even good times for several years now. I believe that I have always been quietly courageous; if I see things falling apart, I try to pick up the pieces. I sacrifice myself and my happiness in an attempt to assuage everyone else. I'm the caregiver, the martyr, the glue that holds the family together. Just recently I've started working on my own self instead of worrying so much about everyone else; I'm trying to allow myself to just be happy. My family's philosophy about happiness would probably be something like: Happiness is something you buy or earn, far out in the distant future, that you can acquire by working hard enough and sacrificing enough.
What is your mother's definition of happiness? She would define happiness as being content with how life is, as well as money and material goods. My mother is happiest when she gets out of work and knows she can sit and relax.
What is your father's definition of happiness? He would probably describe happiness as something you get after working hard, sacrificing, and making money. My father is happiest when he is talking about something he is passionate or knowledgeable about.
Who is the happiest member of your family, and what has this person taught you about happiness? I would have to say that the happiest members of my family are my two cats. They are happy because they are being themselves, doing what feels good to them at the time, and not caring what anyone thinks.
Monday, September 13, 2010
The Happiness Ticket
The goal is to find out what you have told yourself must happen first before you can be happy.
I'd be happy if...
I were more outgoing.
I were more assertive.
I were prettier.
I weren't so fearful.
I felt more appreciated.
I were more creative.
I'll be happy when...
I have more money.
I have a job that I love.
I have my own house.
I'll be happy after...
I become successful.
I have my own house.
I conquer my fears.
A lot of the "ifs" are things I can work on every single second of my life but I don't. The "whens" and "afters" are things in the future that I'm "striving" for, when instead I could just enjoy the journey toward them.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
10 Blessings
Here is a list of 10 things I've felt "blessed" about this past week...
1. Jackie talked to me and helped me work through my thoughts for an hour yesterday.
2. Timmy (child from work) was very sweet to me on Friday afternoon. And I got him to sleep, which is a challenge for EVERYONE.
3. I got offered another shift at the gym, which is something I was hoping for!
4. Two of the kitties at the shelter nuzzled my face today and it made me smile.
5. Tonya gave me praise at work, saying she loved how I handled a certain situation.
6. I enjoyed wonderful food on Tuesday night at EmBargo.
7. When I felt that someone at work was being mean to me, I handled it with kindness and tact.
8. I realized that my dad has been sober for 43 days. Incredible!
9. I was asked to babysit for a family again, because they liked and trusted me so much.
10. I'm going to Mo's bridal shower today and that will be the last of the wedding stuff until the actual wedding next month.
1. Jackie talked to me and helped me work through my thoughts for an hour yesterday.
2. Timmy (child from work) was very sweet to me on Friday afternoon. And I got him to sleep, which is a challenge for EVERYONE.
3. I got offered another shift at the gym, which is something I was hoping for!
4. Two of the kitties at the shelter nuzzled my face today and it made me smile.
5. Tonya gave me praise at work, saying she loved how I handled a certain situation.
6. I enjoyed wonderful food on Tuesday night at EmBargo.
7. When I felt that someone at work was being mean to me, I handled it with kindness and tact.
8. I realized that my dad has been sober for 43 days. Incredible!
9. I was asked to babysit for a family again, because they liked and trusted me so much.
10. I'm going to Mo's bridal shower today and that will be the last of the wedding stuff until the actual wedding next month.
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