If I were enjoying my life 10% more than I am now, what would I be doing differently?
I would start each day expecting great things instead of being pessimistic.
I would smile and laugh more.
I would stop caring so much about what people think.
I would do less of the work that I don't enjoy and more work that I do enjoy.
I would be more assertive.
I would talk to my friends more.
I would spend more time with my family.
I would be more friendly.
I would get more sleep.
I would sing more.
I would be more present in the moment and less worried about the future.
I would take more time to enjoy the beauty of nature.
I would appreciate the weather more for what it is, not what I wish I were.
I would appreciate the fact that some people will like me and others won't.
I would appreciate everyone for who they are.
I would speak my mind more often.
I would face my fears more.
I would tell people about my apprehensions to make them aware.
I would take offers of help or ask for help more than I do.
There are so many other things I would do.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Happy Relationships Questionnaire
1. What would you say is the most powerful key to enjoying happy and loving relationships? I would say that the most powerful keys are respect for one another, open and honest communication, and happiness in your own personal life.
2. What do you think is the secret to unconditional love? The secret is loving and being happy with yourself, being yourself, and accepting everyone else for who they are.
Real Joy in Relationships:
1. Mom: I'm able to mostly be myself with her.
2. Dad: We can talk intelligently to one another.
3. Jackie: She accepts me for who I am and I can be myself around her.
4. Animals: They bring me peace and contentment.
5. Myself: I can be my own worst enemy, but I'm also the only one who can decide to do big and/or great things.
Relationship Strengths:
1. I listen to people/I'm a good sounding board for them to vent.
2. I try to help people as much as I can if they need it.
3. I'm intuitive at times and try to make people feel better if they aren't happy.
4. I can be fun to be with.
5. I can be funny.
My major relationship lesson at present is just learning how to be myself around everyone, being my best self, and enjoying life and other people.
2. What do you think is the secret to unconditional love? The secret is loving and being happy with yourself, being yourself, and accepting everyone else for who they are.
Real Joy in Relationships:
1. Mom: I'm able to mostly be myself with her.
2. Dad: We can talk intelligently to one another.
3. Jackie: She accepts me for who I am and I can be myself around her.
4. Animals: They bring me peace and contentment.
5. Myself: I can be my own worst enemy, but I'm also the only one who can decide to do big and/or great things.
Relationship Strengths:
1. I listen to people/I'm a good sounding board for them to vent.
2. I try to help people as much as I can if they need it.
3. I'm intuitive at times and try to make people feel better if they aren't happy.
4. I can be fun to be with.
5. I can be funny.
My major relationship lesson at present is just learning how to be myself around everyone, being my best self, and enjoying life and other people.
Family Gifts
What gifts have your family given you?
A lot of the things my family has taught me have come through difficult relationships and events. Both of my parents have taught me how to be a wonderful parent by lacking, themselves, good parenting skills. My mom has showed me why I should be strong and friendly, because she, herself, is not. She lives a somewhat reclusive life with no friends outside work, and she drinks by herself way too frequently. My dad showed me that it's not a good idea to get wrapped up in an addiction (he has a very addictive personality). It can make you lose all you have. He came very close and then he taught me to be courageous and strong by going to AA and cleaning up his act after years of submitting to alcohol. What are the positive things my parents have taught me through positive things they've done? I don't even know. I can't think of a single thing. I'll have to come back to this.
A lot of the things my family has taught me have come through difficult relationships and events. Both of my parents have taught me how to be a wonderful parent by lacking, themselves, good parenting skills. My mom has showed me why I should be strong and friendly, because she, herself, is not. She lives a somewhat reclusive life with no friends outside work, and she drinks by herself way too frequently. My dad showed me that it's not a good idea to get wrapped up in an addiction (he has a very addictive personality). It can make you lose all you have. He came very close and then he taught me to be courageous and strong by going to AA and cleaning up his act after years of submitting to alcohol. What are the positive things my parents have taught me through positive things they've done? I don't even know. I can't think of a single thing. I'll have to come back to this.
Family's Happiness Story
What is my family's story about happiness?
I wouldn't say I come from a happy family. Everyone seems to go about life in a daze, just putting one foot in front of the other to get to a destination called happiness. Their idea of happiness is something you can buy with money or that you earn after you work hard for 35 years. Happiness is not something in the forefront of my parents' minds...It's kind of an afterthought. They're just going through the motions. I would say that instead of happiness, financial security, material goods, and work are more important to them. My family's attitude is more pessimistic than optimistic. People are always being discouraged and told about what could go wrong if they try something new. The ways that my family express their joy are through playing games, laughing, talking, and watching TV, though these occasions are extremely rare. The roles played in my family are like this...My dad has always been the financial backbone, bad cop, and embarrassment (up until recently). My mom has always been meek, submissive, good cop, not a huge contributer to much of anything. My brother used to be the family entertainer/clown, but now he has faded away and lives in the background; he's been staying out of the family issues and even good times for several years now. I believe that I have always been quietly courageous; if I see things falling apart, I try to pick up the pieces. I sacrifice myself and my happiness in an attempt to assuage everyone else. I'm the caregiver, the martyr, the glue that holds the family together. Just recently I've started working on my own self instead of worrying so much about everyone else; I'm trying to allow myself to just be happy. My family's philosophy about happiness would probably be something like: Happiness is something you buy or earn, far out in the distant future, that you can acquire by working hard enough and sacrificing enough.
What is your mother's definition of happiness? She would define happiness as being content with how life is, as well as money and material goods. My mother is happiest when she gets out of work and knows she can sit and relax.
What is your father's definition of happiness? He would probably describe happiness as something you get after working hard, sacrificing, and making money. My father is happiest when he is talking about something he is passionate or knowledgeable about.
Who is the happiest member of your family, and what has this person taught you about happiness? I would have to say that the happiest members of my family are my two cats. They are happy because they are being themselves, doing what feels good to them at the time, and not caring what anyone thinks.
I wouldn't say I come from a happy family. Everyone seems to go about life in a daze, just putting one foot in front of the other to get to a destination called happiness. Their idea of happiness is something you can buy with money or that you earn after you work hard for 35 years. Happiness is not something in the forefront of my parents' minds...It's kind of an afterthought. They're just going through the motions. I would say that instead of happiness, financial security, material goods, and work are more important to them. My family's attitude is more pessimistic than optimistic. People are always being discouraged and told about what could go wrong if they try something new. The ways that my family express their joy are through playing games, laughing, talking, and watching TV, though these occasions are extremely rare. The roles played in my family are like this...My dad has always been the financial backbone, bad cop, and embarrassment (up until recently). My mom has always been meek, submissive, good cop, not a huge contributer to much of anything. My brother used to be the family entertainer/clown, but now he has faded away and lives in the background; he's been staying out of the family issues and even good times for several years now. I believe that I have always been quietly courageous; if I see things falling apart, I try to pick up the pieces. I sacrifice myself and my happiness in an attempt to assuage everyone else. I'm the caregiver, the martyr, the glue that holds the family together. Just recently I've started working on my own self instead of worrying so much about everyone else; I'm trying to allow myself to just be happy. My family's philosophy about happiness would probably be something like: Happiness is something you buy or earn, far out in the distant future, that you can acquire by working hard enough and sacrificing enough.
What is your mother's definition of happiness? She would define happiness as being content with how life is, as well as money and material goods. My mother is happiest when she gets out of work and knows she can sit and relax.
What is your father's definition of happiness? He would probably describe happiness as something you get after working hard, sacrificing, and making money. My father is happiest when he is talking about something he is passionate or knowledgeable about.
Who is the happiest member of your family, and what has this person taught you about happiness? I would have to say that the happiest members of my family are my two cats. They are happy because they are being themselves, doing what feels good to them at the time, and not caring what anyone thinks.
Monday, September 13, 2010
The Happiness Ticket
The goal is to find out what you have told yourself must happen first before you can be happy.
I'd be happy if...
I were more outgoing.
I were more assertive.
I were prettier.
I weren't so fearful.
I felt more appreciated.
I were more creative.
I'll be happy when...
I have more money.
I have a job that I love.
I have my own house.
I'll be happy after...
I become successful.
I have my own house.
I conquer my fears.
A lot of the "ifs" are things I can work on every single second of my life but I don't. The "whens" and "afters" are things in the future that I'm "striving" for, when instead I could just enjoy the journey toward them.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
10 Blessings
Here is a list of 10 things I've felt "blessed" about this past week...
1. Jackie talked to me and helped me work through my thoughts for an hour yesterday.
2. Timmy (child from work) was very sweet to me on Friday afternoon. And I got him to sleep, which is a challenge for EVERYONE.
3. I got offered another shift at the gym, which is something I was hoping for!
4. Two of the kitties at the shelter nuzzled my face today and it made me smile.
5. Tonya gave me praise at work, saying she loved how I handled a certain situation.
6. I enjoyed wonderful food on Tuesday night at EmBargo.
7. When I felt that someone at work was being mean to me, I handled it with kindness and tact.
8. I realized that my dad has been sober for 43 days. Incredible!
9. I was asked to babysit for a family again, because they liked and trusted me so much.
10. I'm going to Mo's bridal shower today and that will be the last of the wedding stuff until the actual wedding next month.
1. Jackie talked to me and helped me work through my thoughts for an hour yesterday.
2. Timmy (child from work) was very sweet to me on Friday afternoon. And I got him to sleep, which is a challenge for EVERYONE.
3. I got offered another shift at the gym, which is something I was hoping for!
4. Two of the kitties at the shelter nuzzled my face today and it made me smile.
5. Tonya gave me praise at work, saying she loved how I handled a certain situation.
6. I enjoyed wonderful food on Tuesday night at EmBargo.
7. When I felt that someone at work was being mean to me, I handled it with kindness and tact.
8. I realized that my dad has been sober for 43 days. Incredible!
9. I was asked to babysit for a family again, because they liked and trusted me so much.
10. I'm going to Mo's bridal shower today and that will be the last of the wedding stuff until the actual wedding next month.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
100 Gratitudes
Here is a list of 100 things I'm grateful for...
1. Being alive.
2. Being free of addiction.
3. Jacquelyn Holway.
4. Animals.
5. The way the sun feels on me when I'm cold.
6. Having all my senses in working order.
7. Being healthy.
8. Being intelligent.
9. The Diary of Anne Frank.
10. Tegan and Sara.
11. Having the ability to say no (sometimes).
12. My parents' alcoholism and lack of parenting, which taught me what not to do.
13. The color yellow (it's such a happy color).
14. Money.
15. The "bad" things that have happened to me, for teaching me lessons.
16. Mistakes that I've made which taught me lessons, as well.
17. My Chemical Romance. Listening to their music started me on a different path.
18. Allie Morgan and Steph Camerota, for being my friends in 4th grade, accepting me for who I was, and showing me that it was okay to be myself.
19. Cute guys.
20. Concerts.
21. Seasons (summer, fall, winter, spring).
22. Living in a decent place called Cape Cod. At least I'm not in Dorchester, right?
23. My favorite TV shows (Who's the Boss?, NCIS) for giving me a break from reality.
24. Makeup. Although it's sort of my downfall, too.
25. The ability to touch-type.
26. The ability to work well with children.
27. My kindness toward others.
28. Somehow stumbling upon the idea of pet sitting as a business.
29. The "Be Happy" book.
30. Having great penmanship.
31. Being organized.
32. Not living in a violent or physically abusive family.
33. The internet.
34. Warm baths in the winter.
35. Delicious food.
36. Coffee.
37. My compassion/understanding for others.
38. My creativity.
39. My dad getting sober.
40. Sleeping well.
41. Silence.
42. School/education.
43. Having a nice car that runs very well.
44. Hot chocolate on a cold day/night.
45. Laughter.
46. Peoples' trust in me.
47. Animal shelters.
48. Beautiful artwork/photography.
49. Not being sick for a long time.
50. Letting myself be more friendly.
51. Having the chance to travel to France.
52. Having amazing grandparents.
53. Anesthetics.
54. Technology.
55. Electricity.
56. How beautiful the night sky is.
57. Play-dough.
58. Mo Franklin and Ashley Fidlin for being my friends in middle school and helping to break me out of my shell a little more.
59. My curiosity about everything.
60. The feeling of ecstasy.
61. Piercings and tattoos.
62. Living in a nice house.
63. Birth control.
64. Hugs, especially those that are unexpected.
65. Sweet kisses.
66. Camping.
67. Roasting marshmallows.
68. Fun.
69. My online friends who allow me to vent about people and things they know nothing about.
70. The feeling of inner peace, if only for a brief moment.
71. Recycling.
72. Cell phones.
73. Cute toys (stuffed animals, figurines, etc).
74. Honesty.
75. Seamus grooming Lilly (it's so cute).
76. Ambition.
77. Clothing.
78. The sound of birds chirping in the morning.
79. The taste of cold water when I'm really hot.
80. Feeling secure.
81. Being a good person.
82. Making my own choices.
83. Accepting and nonjudgmental people.
84. Sports.
85. Jacoby Ellsbury.
86. Plants.
87. A cool breeze on a hot day.
88. The beauty of freshly fallen snow.
89. Being female.
90. Having a unique sense of humor.
91. Having two jobs.
92. Being admired by some people.
93. Being emotionally strong.
94. Having the right balance of seriousness and lightheartedness.
95. Rain.
96. The smell of fresh fruit.
97. Orthodontics.
98. Being more self-reliant.
99. My selflessness (although it can also be my downfall).
100. Happiness.
1. Being alive.
2. Being free of addiction.
3. Jacquelyn Holway.
4. Animals.
5. The way the sun feels on me when I'm cold.
6. Having all my senses in working order.
7. Being healthy.
8. Being intelligent.
9. The Diary of Anne Frank.
10. Tegan and Sara.
11. Having the ability to say no (sometimes).
12. My parents' alcoholism and lack of parenting, which taught me what not to do.
13. The color yellow (it's such a happy color).
14. Money.
15. The "bad" things that have happened to me, for teaching me lessons.
16. Mistakes that I've made which taught me lessons, as well.
17. My Chemical Romance. Listening to their music started me on a different path.
18. Allie Morgan and Steph Camerota, for being my friends in 4th grade, accepting me for who I was, and showing me that it was okay to be myself.
19. Cute guys.
20. Concerts.
21. Seasons (summer, fall, winter, spring).
22. Living in a decent place called Cape Cod. At least I'm not in Dorchester, right?
23. My favorite TV shows (Who's the Boss?, NCIS) for giving me a break from reality.
24. Makeup. Although it's sort of my downfall, too.
25. The ability to touch-type.
26. The ability to work well with children.
27. My kindness toward others.
28. Somehow stumbling upon the idea of pet sitting as a business.
29. The "Be Happy" book.
30. Having great penmanship.
31. Being organized.
32. Not living in a violent or physically abusive family.
33. The internet.
34. Warm baths in the winter.
35. Delicious food.
36. Coffee.
37. My compassion/understanding for others.
38. My creativity.
39. My dad getting sober.
40. Sleeping well.
41. Silence.
42. School/education.
43. Having a nice car that runs very well.
44. Hot chocolate on a cold day/night.
45. Laughter.
46. Peoples' trust in me.
47. Animal shelters.
48. Beautiful artwork/photography.
49. Not being sick for a long time.
50. Letting myself be more friendly.
51. Having the chance to travel to France.
52. Having amazing grandparents.
53. Anesthetics.
54. Technology.
55. Electricity.
56. How beautiful the night sky is.
57. Play-dough.
58. Mo Franklin and Ashley Fidlin for being my friends in middle school and helping to break me out of my shell a little more.
59. My curiosity about everything.
60. The feeling of ecstasy.
61. Piercings and tattoos.
62. Living in a nice house.
63. Birth control.
64. Hugs, especially those that are unexpected.
65. Sweet kisses.
66. Camping.
67. Roasting marshmallows.
68. Fun.
69. My online friends who allow me to vent about people and things they know nothing about.
70. The feeling of inner peace, if only for a brief moment.
71. Recycling.
72. Cell phones.
73. Cute toys (stuffed animals, figurines, etc).
74. Honesty.
75. Seamus grooming Lilly (it's so cute).
76. Ambition.
77. Clothing.
78. The sound of birds chirping in the morning.
79. The taste of cold water when I'm really hot.
80. Feeling secure.
81. Being a good person.
82. Making my own choices.
83. Accepting and nonjudgmental people.
84. Sports.
85. Jacoby Ellsbury.
86. Plants.
87. A cool breeze on a hot day.
88. The beauty of freshly fallen snow.
89. Being female.
90. Having a unique sense of humor.
91. Having two jobs.
92. Being admired by some people.
93. Being emotionally strong.
94. Having the right balance of seriousness and lightheartedness.
95. Rain.
96. The smell of fresh fruit.
97. Orthodontics.
98. Being more self-reliant.
99. My selflessness (although it can also be my downfall).
100. Happiness.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The Well-Being Pledge
The Well-Being Pledge is not about good behavior and it is not something that you should, must, or ought to do. It is about the joy of doing it and the joy you experience because you have done it. It is about self-care and self-love. The goal is to make five positive commitments to your personal well-being.
1. Physical: I will recognize my limits and not overwork my body. It's better to take breaks as needed and function at the top of my game than it is to always work too hard and come up lame.
2. Emotional: I will realize I don't have to have the answer or be perfect all the time. Everyone messes up and everyone needs a mental time-out every once in a while. And other people are there to help. I don't have to put the weight of the world on my shoulders.
3. Mental: I will take a class when it becomes financially possible so I can learn something new. I love learning and it feels good. I will do it for me, because I want to.
4. Spiritual: I will get in tune with who I really am as a spirit, not as a body, job, relationship, fear, or medical condition. Discovering who I really am will help me to care less about everyone else's opinion of me. Does it really matter? No.
5. Blind-Spot: The two areas of well-being that I neglect the most are the emotional and spiritual. I know for a fact that I am not and have never been a spiritual person. I do not believe in a higher power, except science and chaos. But that doesn't mean I can't become more spiritually aware of my own soul. I frequently react with strong emotions, because I feel that I don't give them due attention on a regular basis. I need to realize that I'm okay, that nothing is wrong with me, that I can be happy if I so choose, and that I don't have to allow everything to pile up on me. I can ask for help so I don't emotionally explode.
1. Physical: I will recognize my limits and not overwork my body. It's better to take breaks as needed and function at the top of my game than it is to always work too hard and come up lame.
2. Emotional: I will realize I don't have to have the answer or be perfect all the time. Everyone messes up and everyone needs a mental time-out every once in a while. And other people are there to help. I don't have to put the weight of the world on my shoulders.
3. Mental: I will take a class when it becomes financially possible so I can learn something new. I love learning and it feels good. I will do it for me, because I want to.
4. Spiritual: I will get in tune with who I really am as a spirit, not as a body, job, relationship, fear, or medical condition. Discovering who I really am will help me to care less about everyone else's opinion of me. Does it really matter? No.
5. Blind-Spot: The two areas of well-being that I neglect the most are the emotional and spiritual. I know for a fact that I am not and have never been a spiritual person. I do not believe in a higher power, except science and chaos. But that doesn't mean I can't become more spiritually aware of my own soul. I frequently react with strong emotions, because I feel that I don't give them due attention on a regular basis. I need to realize that I'm okay, that nothing is wrong with me, that I can be happy if I so choose, and that I don't have to allow everything to pile up on me. I can ask for help so I don't emotionally explode.
The Vow Of Kindness
On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being "very," how kind are you to others? ((8))
On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being "very," how kind are you to yourself? ((4))
This is my short list of some ways I can be kinder to myself and to others:
1. I can be less judgmental of myself, and instead, praise myself more for the things I'm proud of myself for.
2. I can smile and say hello to more people, even those I don't know. It could brighten someone else's day and make them feel good.
3. I can take the time to be nice to my body and not stress it out or overwork it.
On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being "very," how kind are you to yourself? ((4))
This is my short list of some ways I can be kinder to myself and to others:
1. I can be less judgmental of myself, and instead, praise myself more for the things I'm proud of myself for.
2. I can smile and say hello to more people, even those I don't know. It could brighten someone else's day and make them feel good.
3. I can take the time to be nice to my body and not stress it out or overwork it.
Limiting Happiness
List at least 5 ways you are limiting your happiness.
1. I'm too focused on what other people think of me.
2. I don't spend enough time doing the activities that I like doing.
3. I force myself to stay in situations that aren't for me (ie. jobs and friendships).
4. I don't relax enough to recharge my batteries.
5. I criticize myself too much.
6. I doubt my abilities too much.
7. I don't go after what I want.
8. I let my emotions and fears get the best of me.
9. I often let my negative thoughts take over.
10. When I look in the mirror, I can always find a flaw.
11. I try to control everything in my life.
1. I'm too focused on what other people think of me.
2. I don't spend enough time doing the activities that I like doing.
3. I force myself to stay in situations that aren't for me (ie. jobs and friendships).
4. I don't relax enough to recharge my batteries.
5. I criticize myself too much.
6. I doubt my abilities too much.
7. I don't go after what I want.
8. I let my emotions and fears get the best of me.
9. I often let my negative thoughts take over.
10. When I look in the mirror, I can always find a flaw.
11. I try to control everything in my life.
Very Happy
How often do you feel very happy? Not just mild happy, or okay happy, but very happy? Identify when you experience real joy, as opposed to just pleasure and satisfaction. This list is about when you feel a complete sense of wholeness, peace, and fulfillment.
I am very happy when...I am learning something new and fascinating.
* Several months ago.
I am very happy when...Someone does something nice for me out of the blue.
* Yesterday.
I am very happy when...I finally get to completely relax/sleep.
* Last night.
I am very happy when...I accomplish something I was afraid I could not do.
* The end of last month.
I am very happy when...I'm singing along with my favorite songs.
* Yesterday.
I am very happy when...I'm taking care of an animal or just petting them.
* Last Sunday.
I am very happy when...I stop to realize the beauty in nature.
* I can't remember when.
I am very happy when...Someone hugs me because they want to.
* Last week.
I am very happy when...I'm being friendly.
* Yesterday.
I am very happy when...I'm being myself and feeling appreciated for it.
* Two days ago.
What has this inquiry taught you about yourself?
It has taught me that I have let myself become a lot happier recently and I have let go of some of the things that were blocking it for me. There are still a few things I need to improve upon and take time to enjoy. This exercise was somewhat easy. I do believe I recognize and appreciate some of the moments when I feel good.
I am very happy when...I am learning something new and fascinating.
* Several months ago.
I am very happy when...Someone does something nice for me out of the blue.
* Yesterday.
I am very happy when...I finally get to completely relax/sleep.
* Last night.
I am very happy when...I accomplish something I was afraid I could not do.
* The end of last month.
I am very happy when...I'm singing along with my favorite songs.
* Yesterday.
I am very happy when...I'm taking care of an animal or just petting them.
* Last Sunday.
I am very happy when...I stop to realize the beauty in nature.
* I can't remember when.
I am very happy when...Someone hugs me because they want to.
* Last week.
I am very happy when...I'm being friendly.
* Yesterday.
I am very happy when...I'm being myself and feeling appreciated for it.
* Two days ago.
What has this inquiry taught you about yourself?
It has taught me that I have let myself become a lot happier recently and I have let go of some of the things that were blocking it for me. There are still a few things I need to improve upon and take time to enjoy. This exercise was somewhat easy. I do believe I recognize and appreciate some of the moments when I feel good.
The Happiness Genie
1. "If you could have just one thing, wealth or happiness, what would you choose?"
- Happiness
2. "If you could have just one thing, success or happiness, what would you choose?"
- Happiness
3. "If you could have just one thing, fame or happiness, what would you choose?"
-Happiness
4. "If you could have just one thing, status or happiness, what would you choose?"
- Happiness
5. "If you could have just one thing, attractiveness or happiness, what would you choose?"
-Happiness
6. "If you could have just one thing, sex or happiness, what would you choose?"
- Happiness
7. "If you could have just one thing, health or happiness, what would you choose?"
- Happiness
8. "If you could have just one thing, enlightenment or happiness, what would you choose?"
- Happiness
9. "If you could have just one thing, authenticity or happiness, what would you choose?"
- Happiness
10. "If you could have just one thing, love or happiness, what would you choose?"
- Happiness
Happiness trumps all other things. You ALWAYS have the opportunity to be happy, no matter where you are, what you're doing, or what situation you're in.
- Happiness
2. "If you could have just one thing, success or happiness, what would you choose?"
- Happiness
3. "If you could have just one thing, fame or happiness, what would you choose?"
-Happiness
4. "If you could have just one thing, status or happiness, what would you choose?"
- Happiness
5. "If you could have just one thing, attractiveness or happiness, what would you choose?"
-Happiness
6. "If you could have just one thing, sex or happiness, what would you choose?"
- Happiness
7. "If you could have just one thing, health or happiness, what would you choose?"
- Happiness
8. "If you could have just one thing, enlightenment or happiness, what would you choose?"
- Happiness
9. "If you could have just one thing, authenticity or happiness, what would you choose?"
- Happiness
10. "If you could have just one thing, love or happiness, what would you choose?"
- Happiness
Happiness trumps all other things. You ALWAYS have the opportunity to be happy, no matter where you are, what you're doing, or what situation you're in.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
The Happiness Interview
1. What is your definition of happiness and how well are you living it?
My definition of happiness is being content with who you are inside and out and having the ability to maintain (at most times) a positive outlook.
2. Who is the happiest person you know? What, specifically, have they taught you about happiness?
The happiest people I know are the children I teach at the preschool. They do what feels good to them, whether it's playing a certain game, giving someone a hug, or crying. They've taught me that in order to be happy, you need to abandon your negativity, do what you need to do, and be true and honest about who you are. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks.
3. What are the three wisest lessons about happiness you have learned in your life so far?
- Don't worry what everyone else thinks. Worry about what you think about yourself.
- Release your negativity into a productive outlet. Let it go. Turn it into something positive.
- Don't judge situations or things in life as "bad," or the like. Instead, look at them as a learning experience.
4. Make a list of the possessions, achievements, people, and events you hoped would bring happiness but didn't. What did you learn?
Some things I've thought would make me happy were: A new car, a new job, being in a relationship, getting my college degree, buying clothing, receiving gifts at Christmas, getting As in school, getting praise from others, etc. I've learned that a lot of the things I thought would make me happy were material and not actually important in the scheme of my life. These are things that come and go. They don't stay with me and the "good" feeling doesn't either. Happiness does not come from things and people outside myself, it comes from within. It's all about my personal perception.
5. What is the main block to happiness in your life right now? And what do you think is the solution?
The main block to happiness in my life right now is me. I keep getting in my own way. I tell myself that something "bad" happened, or that I can't be happy yet because I didn't reach my goal. I don't allow myself to be open to happiness. The solution would be to change my way of thinking. Instead of thinking negatively all the time, try to put things into perspective and realize things aren't actually as "bad" as I think they are. Realize that I can be happy at any time if I just let myself.
6. How are you currently limiting your own happiness? What beliefs, ideas, habits, defenses, old wounds, or fears are holding you back?
I have many old wounds and fears. I've grown up the child of alcoholics and that's one of my main defenses. I always use that as a crutch to lean on when I don't have the courage to just let go and be myself. The same thing goes for my fear of not being good enough for other people. I'm so afraid I won't measure up or get approval that I sometimes retreat into myself and say "I can't do such-and-such because I'm not in control of my own actions or thoughts. My parents made me this way. It's not my fault. I'm just going to hide so I don't have to face rejection." In reality, when I do that, the only person rejecting me is myself. I'm telling myself that I don't think I'm good enough. I should be good enough. I should be good enough for me. That should be all the approval I need. When it comes down to it, the only opinion that matters is mine.
7. What are your fears of happiness? For instance, what are you afraid might happen if you were too happy?
I don't think I have any fears about happiness. I honestly don't. I want to feel happy so badly, but I just need to figure out how to let myself.
8. What would you say is the real secret to happiness?
Being true to yourself. Doing what you need to do for yourself. Not putting all your happiness on the line with someone other than yourself as judge and jury.
9. If you were to follow your joy more than ever before, what would you do differently?
I would stop caring so much about what other people think of me. I'd be myself. I'd do what gave me a great feeling.
10. What is the main gift you hope to receive from taking the happiness course?
I hope to learn how to let myself be happy and to be able to help other important people in my life to do the same.
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